Laura (greenteaduck) wrote in suit_down,

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Fic: I'm Lovin' It (A McDonalds AU)

Title: I'm Lovin' It (A McDonalds AU)
Pairing: Chris and Zach
Rating: NC-17
Length: 3000+
Disclaimer: LOL obviously not real unless Chris and Zach’s lives went horribly wrong at some point. PS don’t sue me McDonalds!
Summary: Chris Pine's life has taken a turn for the worse when he starts his new job at the local McDonalds. On the bright side though, the manager is super hot.
A/N: Beta'd by the lovely allofspace

“Hi, welcome to McDonalds. How may I help you?” Chris says with a big, wide smile. If he had been told a year ago that he was going to end up working at McDonalds he would have probably laughed until he’d ruptured something. But as he stands there in his new-fresh-out-of-the-vacuum-sealed-bag uniform—he’s not laughing.

It’s his first week on the job and he’s been assigned ‘window’, which Chris was surprised to find out does not actually mean the drive through window but the cash in the store. Learning the menu had been easy enough but he still had difficulty with all the buttons on the till.

He searches desperately for the combo #4 button, which he had seen just a moment ago, until he has to call one of the ladies he works with to come help him.

“It’s right here, sweetie,” says the older woman as she points to the brightly coloured button on the register for Chris. She gives him a pat on the arm and turns toward the customer with a wink. “He’s new.”

“Thanks, Suze,” Chris says as he finishes the rest of the order. It’s difficult for anyone not to know he’s new with the giant red, ‘I’M NEW AND I’M TRYING’ button displayed quite prominently on his chest. “Did you want any extra hashbrowns?”

The lady he’s serving ponders it for a second before saying, “Does it cost more...?”

Is this capitalist corporation trying to get more money from you? No shit. “Yes, it’s about a dollar more,” Chris replies. The lady shakes her head profusely as if Chris had just asked her for her first born. “Okay, it’ll just be a minute then.”

The lady steps to the side to make room for an old man with a stern face that crawls towards the counter. “Coffee,” he commands as he digs for the money in his jacket pocket.

“Sure,” Chris says, eyes immediately falling to his own personal hell that is the till of buttons. “What size?”


What size is regular to people exactly? Is it small or medium or something? “Is small okay?”

The man nods, throwing the change onto the counter.

“What would you like in it?” says a deep, warm voice behind Chris.

Chris jumps at first but then smiles once he sees who it is. For all the shit Chris takes at this job there is one really, really nice plus about working at McDonalds and that’s Zach, the store manager.  Zach stands close, casually leaning onto the counter with a coffee cup in his hand. The man says something but Chris is too busy focusing on Zach’s very hairy arms to hear.

“I’ll back you up,” Zach says, his face close to Chris’s and his voice so low it makes him shiver.

“Okay, thank you,” Chris quips maybe too loudly. He turns back to the customer and can still feel the flush on his cheeks. “Anything to eat today?”


“’Kay,” Chris types everything in, scoops the money off the counter and Zach is back in an instant with the coffee. “Have a nice day!”

The man doesn’t even acknowledge Chris as he grabs the coffee and snatches a newspaper from the pile nearby. Zach turns to face Chris and lets out an exaggerated sigh.

“Just another day in paradise,” Chris smirks.

“Yeah, the ambience is just heavenly,” Zach responds with an eye roll. Chris hadn’t exactly been expecting anyone working at McDonalds to be so attractive—and to use words like ‘ambience’. If he had, he would have started working here a long time ago.

Zach’s brown eyes turn to scan the lobby and Chris can’t help but take in the manager’s perfect pouty lips. Even his large nose seems attractive despite the harsh fluorescent light.


Chris looks away quickly and hopes Zach didn’t notice his drooling over him. The shouting voice belongs to Suze and she calls out, “Can we go on break?”

Zach nods and turns back to Chris, “Ready for a break?”

“Hell yeah,” Chris says enthusiastically as he goes to follow Suze off the floor.

The crew room where the staff members take their breaks is placed in the back hall. It’s pretty sparsely decorated, not that Chris really cares but he knows some of the other McDonalds have TVs in their break rooms or at least a fan. They settle around the table quietly and Chris pulls out his phone while Suze prepares her breakfast.

“Having any trouble today?” Suze asks as she pokes at the cereal she’s brought from home and flips through her trashy gossip magazine.

“Still getting used to things, I guess. Zach’s been a big help.”

“Oh yeah,” she smiles as she reads. “I saw him helping you out there. You two seem to get along well.”

Chris immediately knows where this is going. If there’s one thing he’s learned while working here it’s that McDonalds employees are as bad as high school kids when it comes to gossip. He turns to face her and raises an eyebrow. “Yes...?”

“And he’s single--”

“Down, girl!” Chris jokes and rolls his eyes at her. “This McDonalds is not the Hartfield Estate and you are not Emma.”

“Wow ho! A man that knows Jane Austen!”

Thankfully this leads to a very in-depth discussion of Jane Austen’s works and which novel is the best and Suze completely forgets about playing matchmaker. Chris heaves a sigh of relief and is thankful, for once, that his break is only half an hour.

Thank god for Ms. Austen.


The shift ends quietly with only a few button related screw ups and Chris heads to the change rooms to get out of his uniform. He stinks of grease and pulls off his shirt as he rushes through the crew room.

“Dinner and a show,” a low voice interrupts Chris’s stride to the change room.

Chris turns quickly and of course it’s Zach who’s sitting there nonchalantly eating a salad. Seriously, what manager eats in the crew room and not in the office? Zach’s eyes gleam playfully. “I didn’t know McDonalds was going in this direction.”

“Didn’t you get the memo? All McDonalds are going topless now—some are even doing bottomless,” Chris grins and tries to hide his belly—he suddenly regrets eating McGriddles every day for the past week.

“How do I get a transfer to one of those stores?” Zach looks up from under his dark brows and Chris gulps at the intent in his eyes. Zach averts his gaze and clears his throat, probably noticing how he’s making Chris sweat. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.”

“Dude, don’t even worry about it,” Chris says, waving him off. “It’s totally fine. I’m not a blushing virgin or anything.”

Zach chuckles and nods, “Duly noted.”

They both stare at each other quietly—tension radiating off them both. Chris bites his lip, as Zach is once more distracted by the salad, and takes the moment to duck into the change room to grab his things. He pulls on his white v-neck and doesn’t bother changing pants. He’s pretty sure that any touching below the waist will only result in further embarrassment. He keeps his jeans in his bag and then goes to wait in the crew room until he has to catch his bus, taking the seat across from Zach.

“How’re you finding work and everything?” Zach asks with a trademark McDonalds smile on his face. They should really put Zach on a commercial; they would seriously double their profits.

“Pretty good. A little difficult with all the, uh, buttons.”

“There are a lot of buttons.” Zach chuckles and takes a big bite of salad. There’s only the slightest hesitation before Zach asks his next question. “So how’d a guy like you end up working at McDonalds?”

Chris winces inwardly. Working at McDonalds hadn’t been in his life plans and it’s proving to be a bigger blow to his ego than he’d thought it would be. He shoves down all those raw feelings and regrets, and turns his own smile on Zach. “Well, I got my BA from Berkeley and tried my hand at selling a few TV pilots. And, as you can see, it didn’t pan out. How about you?”

“I wanted to be an actor,” Zach laughs at himself with little humour. “It’s a super cliché tale, I know. Guy moves out to LA to become an actor and ends up working at McDonalds.”

“Well at least you aren’t a singing waitress.”

“That’s New York.”

“Right, right,” Chris nods. “Sorry, I’m getting my stories of small town girls with big dreams all mixed up.”

Zach laughs and pulls out his own phone. “Is it cool if we exchange numbers?”

“Is this so you can call me for a work shift or something?”

“Or something.”

Chris looks up quickly. Zach’s eyes are locked on his and there’s no way a man can look that serious while eating salad. He feels his palms sweat as he takes Zach’s phone to punch his number in. “Is this going to be like Burlesque or Rock of Ages? You give me a job at your bar and then we make our way to stardom?”

“Bop to the top, man,” Zach smirks and shakes his head. “Also, I’m going to ignore the fact that you’ve seen Burlesque.”


Chris receives a text from Zach the next day while he’s out running.

i need someone to close tomorrow with me, you up for it?

Is this like the McDonalds equivalent of a date? Chris texts as he jogs in place.

maybe I’ll even buy you dinner, coyote ugly.

Chris snickers at the nickname and types back. Coyote Ugly? That is the worst nickname. What about Flash Dance or any Step Up movie?

clearly you know very little about the step up franchise. in step up 4, the lead girl is super rich and is actually slumming it to dance with her friends.

Wow, and you judge my movie taste. Chris hits send and then quickly sends another text. Oh and I’ll take the shift btw.

see you at eight ;)


Of course the shift ends up being super slow. It’s a Tuesday in January so Chris isn’t really surprised by this. He knows that everyone is basically broke after the holidays and, oh yeah, it’s a fucking Tuesday. So no one is travelling to McDonalds after 8:30 unless they’re working late or they’re stoned.

Chris and Zach aren’t the only ones working that night. There’s a pimple-faced guy in kitchen and a girl doing drive-thru. Both of them are hanging out by the fountain drinks, away from the security camera so they can text freely. Zach is supposed to be running for drive-thru but there hasn’t been a single customer in forty-five minutes so he’s holed himself up in the manager’s office.

“Holy shit, this is boring,” Chris groans and leans into the doorway.

“Wait until it hits eleven, that’s when it gets really slow,” Zach responds, looking up from his paper work.

“This is the worst date ever. Why did I agree to this?”

“Oh, the night is not over yet.” Zach stands up from the desk and steps towards Chris.

He hovers near him, intense gaze gluing Chris in place. Chris can’t help but purr out, “Yeah? How’re you going to change my mind, hm?” Chris feels himself sweat under the attention and licks his lips out of habit and Zach’s eyes fall down to Chris’s mouth to follow the movement.

Zach doesn’t answer him and instead lays his arm against the door above Chris’s head. He can feel their name tags bumping together as their breaths mingle in the tiny space between them. Zach reaches up for his headset and Chris hears a faint beeping noise, thinking maybe Zach turned it off in case the other workers could hear them. Then Zach sucks in a breath and says right into Chris’s ear, “Hi, welcome to McDonalds. What can I get for you?”

Chris hears a voice answer in the headset and closes his eyes tight. “Tease!” he shouts.

Zach winks and bounces over to the till to type in the order. “And would you like to biggie size your fries tonight?” Zach waggles his eyebrows suggestively at the question and Chris resists the urge to flip him the bird in case the security camera catches it.

Zach rushes around the store, grabbing everything for the order, while Chris watches with feigned irritability. Zach twirls Chris around like they’re dancers until Chris can’t help but smile back. They swat at each other’s asses and laugh like children until Chris feels giddy. They do this until Zach has rounded up everything for the order and then he grabs Chris by the collar of his uniform and pushes him against the front counter. The laughter in Chris’s voice dies as his attention is drawn once more to Zach’s mouth.

And once more: “Hi, welcome to McDonalds. What can I get for you?”

“Your dick in a Big Mac, you bastard!” Chris responds loudly. The girl at the drive through window barks a laugh.

From there on, the night moves on slowly but Chris enjoys the company. They close up shop quickly and without a hitch. Zach finishes the paper work and moves on to counting the tills. Chris cleans the store and then heads on back to hang out with Zach. The girl from drive through also joins Chris to bother Zach. “Can I go home?” she asks with little patience.

“Everything’s done?” Zach asks.

She nods and purses her lips. Chris can practically hear the unsaid duh.

“Do you need a ride home?”

“My parents are picking me up,” she says, already heading for the door. “Bye!”

“Bye,” Zach closes the safe with a sigh and then his eyes go dark as he looks at Chris. He tilts his head to the side to shout to the kitchen guy, “You all done too?” Not taking his attention off Chris the entire time.

There’s a grunt from the kitchen guy which must have been an affirmation because Zach just says, “Then you can go home.”

The kitchen guy doesn’t need to be told twice. He punches out and follows the girl out the door quickly.

“How about you, Chris? You need a ride home?”

Chris shrugs, wanting to play it cool, but he knows that they are so past playing coy. So he cups Zach’s face and pushes his mouth against his. Zach groans in answer and licks past Chris’s lips.

Zach positions them out of view of the camera and presses him up against the wall near the McFlurry machine. Chris has had a semi for the past hour or so, his baggy uniform pants hiding his erection. Zach can definitely feel it now though, and Chris stops kissing so he can moan as Zach grinds his hips up against him.

“You think I didn’t notice you’ve been hard all night?” Zach whispers and Chris can’t suppress a shudder.

“You gonna write me up?”

Zach laughs softly and bites at Chris’s ear, removing the visor and mussing his hair.

Zach licks up Chris’s neck and lifts up Chris’s shirt to tweak at his nipples. He can feel Zach’s dick pressing against his own and he releases a sort of mewling noise when they slide together just right.

Chris takes it upon himself to jump onto the counter and spread his legs so Zach can fit in between them.

Zach gets on his knees in one swift motion and unzips Chris’s pants. He breathes hot onto Chris’s crotch and runs his hands along Chris’s thighs. “Wait, wait,” Chris pushes at Zach’s hands when they reach for the fly on his pants. “We can’t just go nuts in front of the security camera.”

“The camera’s broken,” Zach responds, his voice even deeper than normal. “We just haven’t told the staff in case they started to slack.”

“Sneaky fuckers,” Chris just barely manages to growl out before Zach has Chris’s cock out of his pants. He takes him quickly into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks, and Chris gasps as Zach works Chris down further into the wet heat with a lewd slurping noise.

Zach nuzzles his nose into the dark hairs at the base of Chris’s cock. There’s a soft humming noise coming from somewhere deep in his throat like Chris’s dick is the best thing they offer at McDonalds. “Fuck,” Chris threads his fingers through Zach’s hair and can’t help pumping his hips just a little, feeling the zipper of his pants biting into his sac.

Zach releases Chris’s cock from his mouth, his lips swollen and precum smeared on his chin. He licks at Chris’s slit and Chris knows he’s going to come soon, especially when Zach uses his hand to twist at the head. Chris whines low in his throat as Zach takes him back into his mouth. “Geez,” he tilts his head back as he feels heat building low in his stomach.

Zach doesn’t need to be told anything else as he pulls off and finishes Chris off with a few strong tugs. The whine Chris was making turns into a yelp as he comes all over the front of Zach’s uniform.

“Wow,” Chris breathes out, sprawled on the counter. “The service at McDonalds is amazing. I get why you guys have been one of the top employers for the past few years.”

Chris feels Zach’s hand pinch his thigh at the stupid joke and he peeks below the counter to get a good look at Zach.

Zach’s eyes are dark with lust and Chris can see a wet spot on the front of Zach’s pants. He joins Zach on the floor and cups him through the thin regulation pants. Zach grunts at the feeling and pushes into Chris’s hand. He presses his face into Chris’s neck and pumps his hips shamelessly against Chris’s palm while also pushing up to ride Chris’s knee.

Zach’s breath begins to hitch and his thrusts stutter as he comes. He grips Chris firmly by the shoulders until his fingers go slack and his breath comes out in huffs against Chris’s skin. They both slump on each other as Zach comes back down from his orgasm.

“I just came in my pants at a McDonalds,” Zach laughs. “That hasn’t happened to me since high school.”

“Your memories of McDonalds are more perverse than mine,” Chris grins back. He moves to place his limp dick back in his pants and then drapes his arms around Zach’s neck. “So... you gonna give me a ride home?”

“On one condition,” Zach says as he nips at Chris’s bottom lip. “No more McDonalds puns.”

Chris groans. “But I have one more!”

Fine. You get one last pun.”

Chris grins and clears his throat. He moves in as if he’s about to kiss Zach again but instead bats his eyelashes and says, “So... Can I take this order to go?”

Zach pushes him away as he stands up and Chris just erupts into giggles. “I am not lovin’ it, Pine!” But Chris can see the unmistakable smirk on Zach’s lip and he gets to his feet to follow Zach out of the shop.

“Oh, yes you are.”

Tags: !fanfiction, fandom: rpf, genre: slash, rating: nc-17
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